Five Edible Advent Calendars You Need to Buy Right Now
On Aldi's Cheese Advent Calendar and Louis Armstrong's "Cheesecake"
The Snack
Aldi’s Cheese Advent Calendar
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Apologies for the clickbaity title but this is an emergency. It is time to buy your advent calendar. Right now.
The advent calendar game has gotten strong in recent years — those itty-bitty teeny-weeny pieces of bad chocolate are no longer the only action in town. Now there are advent calendars filled with wine, noodles, hot sauce, potato chips, and fancy Danish licorice. There are advent calendars that cost $1 and versions that’ll set you back $300.
There is also a Jean-Michel Basquiat-themed Tiffany & Co. advent calendar? That is taller than a toddler?? And starts at $150,000??? But doesn’t contain a single piece of candy???? What a world.
It’s a staggering amount of choices, I know, but thankfully I am an advent calendar expert. After years of research and investigation, I can confidently confirm there is one tasty countdown to Christmas that is superior to all the others.
Friends, believe me when I say Aldi’s Cheese Advent Calendar is the best advent calendar out there
First of all, it is filled with cheese. Twenty-four half-ounce pieces of cheese, specifically. That’s almost a full pound of cheese! (Those “12 Days of Christmas” countdowns that have been creeping onto the scene in recent years? The ones that only offer a dozen goodies by pretending half the month of December doesn’t exist? Those are bullshit. Ignore those.)
Secondly, the cheese selection gets better every year and this year’s is the best yet, with double servings of 12 different varieties including gouda with black pepper, Red Leicester, Double Gloucester, mustard gouda, and truffle cheddar.
And really, you can’t beat the price — while most more-than-just-chocolate calendars start at $30, this little treasure chest of cheese costs about $15. A steal!
There is a catch: Aldi’s Cheese Advent Calendar generally sells out, sometimes within 48 hours of hitting the shelves. And this year’s stock was released on Wednesday, Nov. 3. So hurry. Go now. I’m not kidding. If you’re lucky, there will still be one waiting for you.
The Song
“Cheesecake” by Louis Armstrong
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Despite this week’s snack being a literal countdown to Christmas, I wouldn’t dare push a holiday song on you now. It’s only November 5! I’m not a monster.
Instead, I’d like to share with you the happiest song in the history of songs, “Cheesecake” by Louis Armstrong.
Armstrong famously loved food. In 2011, Ricky Riccardi, the archivist at the Louis Armstrong House Museum told NPR:
"Louis Armstrong was a very earthy human being. He got great pleasure out of the simple things: food, women, music. That really sums up the man. And you can't take food out of the equation. It's too simple to say, 'he was just a trumpet player,' or whatever else he is. The man was all about things that brought him pleasure, and food was very near the top of the list."
But is cheesecake really about cheesecake? Some argue it’s thinly-veiled innuendo, but Riccardi, who also maintains the blog The Wonderful World of Louis Armstrong, says the song really is as silly and innocent as it seems.
It was written by pianist Irving Fields, and in his autobiography, Riccardi notes, Fields confirmed the tune came to him after he ate a piece of cheesecake from Lindy’s in New York City.
Amazing.
Here are the full lyrics (via Genius):
My girl loves cheesecake!
Ohh. Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake, munchin' on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake, munchin' on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake, munchin' on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Ohh. Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake, munchin on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble
Cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake
Cheesecake!
My girl she's crazy, over cheesecake all the time, so I'll bring her cheesecake, and she'll treat me mighty fine!
Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake
Cheesecake!
My girl she's crazy, over cheesecake all the time, so I'll bring her cheesecake and roopy-dot-n-doot-n-dottly-dootle-yah!
Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Ohh. Cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake. Munchin' on a cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Ohh. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Mmm. Cheesecake. Gobble, gobble. Cheesecake. Crazy over cheesecake
Cheesecake!
Even better than the recorded version from 1966’s Louis is the live version Armstrong and the All Stars performed on Hollywood Palace. Just look at these men, giggling and singing and blowing on their horns. It is pure joy and a very close approximation of how I look every day in the month of December when I get to pry open a little cardboard door and eat a delicious piece of cheese.
Gobble, gobble, mmm.
Four More Edible Advent Calendars
I don’t get money for these recommendations, I just really like these calendars and/or the companies that make them.
Sugarfina’s Santa’s Workshop Advent Calendar, $60
Sugarfina’s advent calendar is pricey but spectacular. The 24 boxes are filled with candy you can’t easily find in the U.S. — delicately flavored marshmallowy ice cream cones from Germany, tiny vegan pineapple gummies made with real pineapple puree from France — and there are enough pieces of each to share. Bonus: The calendar itself is sturdy enough to reuse next year so long as you’re willing to supply your own treats.
Sugarfina also offers a Hannukkah option for $28, with eight different Kosher-certified candies.
David’s Tea’s 24 Days of Tea, $50
A few years ago I skipped the candy-filled calendar and got David Tea’s 24 Days of Tea. It was surprisingly delightful! Making myself a cup of tea at the end of the day became a calming, comforting ritual in the midst of an otherwise overwhelming time of year, and the flavors — Candy Cane Crush, Dark Chocolate Orange, Jingle Bell Chai, etc. — were all fun and festive.
See’s 2021 Advent Calendar, $45
I haven’t had the See’s advent calendar — I think this is the first year they’ve offered it? — so I can’t personally vouch for its quality, but See’s candy is consistently delicious and the website promises at least some of the included treats are their famous chocolates and lollipops. Love those See’s lollipops.
Vosges Chocolat’s A Chocolate Calendar of Advent, $145
One year I will be able to afford the $145 Vosges Chocolat advent calendar, featuring chocolate truffles and bars made with unexpected shit like yaupon holly, olive oil, reishi mushroom, and candied violets. This year is not that year. And still, I dream.